It Must be a Strong Limb

I'm pretty sure no one really reads this...except maybe Tamsey (haha) so I feel like I have a little more freedom to vent. My husband is gone again. Yes, AGAIN...after being home less than two months. I was not happy, but what can you do. This time I decided to stick it out here in Kansas rather than head to FL like I normally do for help from family. There were a few reasons for this. 1. A 21 hr drive absolutely sucks, and if you're gonna stay more than a coupla weeks, you need a vehicle 2. I wanted to see if I could actually make it on my own. 3. (This ones gonna be long...) We are always praying for God to use us, and always saying we know God put us in Kansas for a reason. Well, I've never fully allowed myself to be HERE. I spend half the time visiting in FL, and half the time "visiting" my house in Kansas. That is no way to make a house a home, or to be available to let God use you very much. I finally decided to get plugged in here. I'm a discussion group leader at MOPS (tamsey :)) and a kindergarten Sunday school teacher. I'm building closer relationships with neighbors...all important things. I honestly felt peace staying here. That is why I am so baffled at how things have gone since Bear left. It has honestly been the hardest time of my life, EVER! I don't know if the amount of deployments piling up that's taking a toll on me, or lack of sleep, or sick children, or a "terrible two" or messy house or what...but I feel like I am pushed to my limit every single day and that I just can't go on...and then I do. If I am hanging on by a limb, it must be a strong one. We will call it the wonderful grace of God! One more month, and then he'll be home. On Thanksgiving Day! THAT will be something to be thankful for.
funny of the day: Dylan was in the other room (NEVER good). I hear "Troy! NO!" Dylan runs in, no diaper on. "Mama, Troy ate my poopoo." Walk in other room, dirty diaper on floor with....dirty...missing. BAD DOG.
lesson of the day: Don't leave real grown up tools laying around the house or your 2 yr old may come up behind you when you're not looking and whack you in the back with a big hammer. Owww.

The End of Another Deployment

My hubby is coming back from his 5th deployment in 2 days!!! I've been doing a countdown with Dylan, even though he is probably really confused about numbers now, because we went from 4 days to 7 days to 5 days due to schedule changes. I am so excited for him to see the kids, to see all the know things Dylan has learned, to see how chunky adorable Lyla is. I will feel so relieved to have us all together as a family, to have things back to normal, even if it's just for a little while. This deployment has been really challenging for me, with a toddler and new baby, just seeing if I can make it one more day off of a few hours of sleep. Keeping the house tolerably neat, and still being a good enough mom to spend quality time with my babes, putting the Thomas tracks back together for the 15th time, restacking blocks, or just taking time to rock Lyla to sleep. My fallback verse for these past five months has definitely been, "The Lord never gives you more than you can bear." Amen, thank you Jesus. People sometimes say, "I don't know how you do it", with Bear (my husband) gone all the time, and the kids. I don't feel sorry for myself. I am so grateful for my husband's job, for my family, for the way God always takes care of us. Rewind, say, 6 years. Just about to meet Bear. I had no idea the paths my life would take. That I would be a military wife, stay-at-home mommy, a thought of a career for myself looking more and more distant. I would have NEVER imagined myself here. Is that a bad thing then? No! God is so amazing. Life is not about glorifying ourselves, or serving ourselves. There is another verse (I can never remember where these are located)that says something like, "Get rid of your selfish ambitions, vain desires....clothe yourselves with humility..." It can be so hard to put away ourselves and allow God to do what He will with us, isn't it? Especially when it goes against what society would consider "successful". I have a job. It's being an exceptional wife and mother, and it's mentally, emotionally, and physically challenging in ways most careers just arent. And there's no lunch breaks, 8 hr days, or vacations. But it pays with a full-hearted joy and contentment nothing could ever match! Funny of the Day: Troy (our black n tan coonhound mix) will take any rawhide bone you give him and hide it really good, he will never chew it or enjoy it. Today I was changing our sheets and found said treat wedged nicely between the headboard and mattress. I gave it back to Troy, who looked flabbergasted I actually found it. He proceeded to roam the house for the next 15 minutes searching for a REALLY good spot. And if you happen to look while he is hiding it, he gets very upset, removes the treat, and searches for a new place. Those bones are a heavy burden on him. Lesson of the Day: Swiss cheese seems to mold faster than other cheeses. Eat it first.

My Very First Blog EVER

Even though I don't really have time for this, and to be honest, probably won't stick with it, I think I should blog. At least for a little bit. I just feel like my days are flying by, with 2 yr old Dylan and 5 month old Lyla and a deployed hubby, and if I don't jot some stuff down I may look back and this time will be a blur. My children are amazing- they do so many incredible things every day and bring me so much joy that I just don't want to lose those moments. God is teaching me so much by letting me be a mommy. I am so, so grateful for my family. Today's funny: Lyla was laying naked on a blanket in the yard and pooped. Troy (the dog) was licking her clean before I got to her. note: most of my funnies may be slightly graphic in nature due to the age of my children. Sorry. Prepare yourself. Lesson of the day: (normally I will have something profound here God has shown me through my daily grind). Hmm... Today my neighbors helped me; they watched the kids why I had a massive clean spree. God doesnt want us to be islands to ourselves. He wants us to have to depend on others. What great person of God can you think of that could take care of everything alone? Ok, Jesus, but that's all.